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(Sunday, June 18, 2006-)
+9:00:00 PM]*
9:00:00 PM
# broken.-
i must be crazy.. havent been home for the past day.. jus reached home. things between us hasnt cleared at all.. i duno wats wrong with me.. well cos i noe i made it all go this way. no use living in regret. no use sayin anything. no use being sad lols. whos not.. feel bad after friday. couldn slp. nth t say for the past few days.. couldn smile couldn laugh.. couldn talk t her.. was so guilty i didn even noe wat more i could say.. neither do i wan t hurt her. i'm tired of myself. wat more can i do other than disappointing her and my parents. lols.. i ruined everything in a single night. all was so rite. i spoiled everything. we were so high up yet i let us fall. sigh.. i guess things wouldn be the same again.. giving each other attitude.. my minds blank.. i cant think of anything. i'm speechless too. for hurting too much. ): my bad. no point sayin sorry too. nth hlp.. nth will.. wat do i wan.. i also duno.. jus be this way barhs.. dunc think she wants t talk too.. in the end wat do i get.. nth.. i jus made things difficult for us.. dunc wan t.. yet i cant control.. shes been cold towards me.. and i duno wat shes been thinking too.. she doesnt wana tell me neither. i lost her trust lerh barhs. hhahs.. i disappointed her.. i'm sorry.. rmbed u said.. " ur the only one i really trust now.. dunc disappoint me.." well.. its too late.. yarhs. hahahas... laugh at my own mistakes.. feeeling lonely.. feeling sad.. i'm all t blame. i feel really lousy for the past 3 days. couldn slp.. wana talk t her but i've hurt her.. she doesnt wana talk t me too.. everythings changed.. has it?? i guess i may nvr understand and nvr ever will noe how u feel inside.. neither will i be able t understand you.. u dunc need me tat much like u think u do barhs.. if i said i need u would it hlp.. hhahs. but how could i say tat when i've done bad things t you. i cant ask for anything anymore.. have it ur way from now. seriously i dunc wana hurt nor disappoint. hurts me more t hurt u. this is my last sorry t you. from today on.. i wont hab much t say... in the end its still good t let that same old boulder stay in my heart t blk me from moving 1 step forward.. i can only take a step backwards each time u move closer. cos i dunc wana hurt u anymore. i love u.. dunc wana lose you. but its different now.. none of this matters anymore. i made such a deep cut i dunc tink u'll ever heal from it.. do watever ur happy doing.. i'll stay silent by ur side protecting and showering u with my love.. i duno if its too late t do anything anymore. i wana save it. sigh.. u cant assure me neither can i assure you.. now i got no one t turn t cos ur the only one i always turn to.. things may nvr be the same again. i hope its not the end.. i'm sorry i only noe how t break and not mend.. no matter wat my love for u hasnt changed.. didn tot it would end up this way. ):
the story ends like this;
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June 2005