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(Saturday, July 29, 2006-)
+9:56:00 AM]*
9:56:00 AM
# wat t do wat t do.-
woke up at 8.30. last nyte online until 1 am.
still not enuff slp. everyday cant slp properly.
every morning wake up back ache. lousy bed. lols.
gona change soon. mummy say wan buy hahas. yeah!
later tuition at 12.30. i jus chiong finish maths.
nth t do. cs dota cartoon and same thing over again.
so bored liao on com. no purpose anymore.
only chat with her is my main purpose for using it.
hhahs. love her so much. hope shes happy with me.
i hope this thought is only jus a thought.
love u loads darling. <3 i cherish and treasure us.
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, July 28, 2006-)
+9:46:00 PM]*
9:46:00 PM
# who am i?-
jus bathed. its been awhile since i blogged. (=
past few days were studies and more studies.
slacked abit in the middle but still studied.
today went tampiness with her after sch. hahs.
was very happy talkin and laughing all the way.
lols. look at girls and guys. dressing and all.
lols. first time lyke tis. i dunc go shoppin.
but she changed me. now i got lots t buy hahas.
first time i shopped with a girl barhs. heehs.
many first times larhs. last tyme was too naive.
learnt alot from this relationship. thanks alot.
the good and the bad. both alike. it changed me.
well. i'm happy jus t hab u around me. felt glad.
nowadays got think abit. abt us and us still..
i didn wana talk abt it. cos u told me not to think.
i wil try not to. well. i fear and i'm afraid.
of losing you. and afraid u'll change too.
yarhs ppl change. i noe tat. who doesnt?? hhahs.
its jus tat relationships. it would be bad. wun it?
okay skip skip skip. i jus wana be happy.
live everyday t the fullest cos u dunc noe,
if tml would come for us or not. hope it does.
maybe i've got too much t say. its hard t type it.
maybe someday i'll tell you everything inside me.
i love you darling yan. maybe its jus me... <3<3
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, July 23, 2006-)
+11:35:00 AM]*
11:35:00 AM
# woppies-
sians. ppl drilling upstairs so fcukin noisy.
woke up at 8 plus and went back t sleep.
was really tired. lols. more slp better.
hope shes really feeling better. get well yarhs.
hhahs. if not i cannot disturb u norhs. how eh.
lols. jkjk. i miss those days when we sat n talk.
sharing everything in mind and talk abt anything.
now its still the same i guess. but seldom..
i miss you darling. tml we go watch movie! ahas.
sorry i got angry and scolded you and nagged u.
lyke old man huhs. lols. hope u understand jiu hao.
see ya tml blog lter. love ya laopo. <3
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, July 22, 2006-)
+6:05:00 PM]*
6:05:00 PM
# sada-
whole day watch sorry i love you. very nice.
after my tuition. became bored and missed her.
i trust you narhs. now not the time t talk.
i'll always rmb wat u said. you will. hahs.
hope tonyte you'll talk t me norhs.
i decided not t think and try not nagging.
its not so bad. but i'll still be worried.
but i wont anyhow think lerhs alrite.
stay with me always larhs.
i dunc wana fcuking care the outcome anymore.
i'll keep on reminding. at least i remind.
we'll both be fine and happy tgt. i hope.
i dunc wan quarrels no more. jus simple talks.
talking sense and getting things on track.
tats all i want. all i cared for is you.
im happy with you. i'm not letting go.
not anymore. dunc wan lose anyone anymore.
i so treasured u alrdy. i was once a shadow.
now i'm not anymore! dunc wanna lose you!
FCUK YOU FAMILY. FCUK YOU DAD. FCUK YOU MUM.
FCUK MYSELF UP!! FCUK MY LIFE. LOLS.
the story ends like this;
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+9:42:00 AM]*
9:42:00 AM
# i noe ur tired too.-
woke up at 9. nth t do.. tired inside and stuffs.
sorry i scolded u, sorry i nagged, sorry okays.
u can manage on ur own. do it for urself not me.
dunc regret nxt time. haish.. its hard t say tis.
i dunc wana talk t you abt all these too.
you said u will i hope u jus would. sad t see tis.
pamper you isnt the whole point anymore.
i tot maybe you'd still listen barhs. but u played.
dunc care where and when. ur the playful type.
lyke mr justin said i was happy go lucky.
bo chap in everything. yeah great. i'm now.
lyke i didn noe wats more important and wats not.
counting down days. til the n's or till the end...
)= if one of us fall. its taking one piece of me.
after tis post. i'm gona let you go alrdy.
as in.. u can do watever u wan anymore.
dunc hab t tell me if u dunc want to.
u didn wana talk abt anything anymore.
my face wont hab an expression.
theres hole in there which only you can mend.
but i cant see anymore. u jus didn cared.
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, July 21, 2006-)
+8:17:00 PM]*
8:17:00 PM
# i'm the cause of everything.-
Haish. sian norhs. wth. i'm only makin u fan.
i cant do anything, i think i said enuf.
worst is tat u've heard enuf. i dunc wan u sians.
for once i told myself i'll nvr mess with u.
dunc bother abt wat u wana do. but i cant.
i noe u also wont 1 narhs. u no mood lerhs.
the more i say the more u wont do ryte?
my words has became pointless alrdy norhs.
i also dunc understand u barhs. is it true?
cos i dunc noe wat u wan. wat u thinking.
do wat u wan do. talk t ur friends and all.
i feel lyke i'm talkin bullshiet.
i feel lyke i'm a stupid fool tellin u all these.
when u jus listened and hardly would do anything.
i'm letting all the worries turn into anger now.
i wished i dunc hab t fan u. but i'm so sorry.
i'll try stop norhs. its darn hard larhs.
but i think i can, gimme some time okay.
i'm going t bath. call me later barhs.
i guess you'd be fine with ur own thinking.
i wished u said things tat u mean.
6 days. its not important anymore.
i mean come on larhs. dunc say u will.
dunc say it and dunc do it. i'm tired too.
ur more tired. lols. sorry arhs.
dunc say u will jus t assure me norhs.
u noe i wont be assured.
lyke u asked me t go see doc. i said i would.
i didn wan u t worry. is it the same as u?
is tat wat ur doing t me? lols.
i'm sorry if i suck norh. sorry cant understand u.
be happy and i'll be fine. i'll try.
when its dead and cold. i'll be fine. <3
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, July 20, 2006-)
+11:48:00 PM]*
11:48:00 PM
# cant slp again.-
here i'm worrying. cant get t slp again. sigh.
darlin.. i'm tryin my best is it so hard?
i hope i'm not giving u so much things t think.
i dunc wan lidat norhs everytime u sad cos of me.
the past is gone now everything is a new start.
you and me are a new beginning new chapter.
jus lyke u said t me when you accepted me.
its ur decision i hope u dunc regret. i didn.
i love u narhs. so i wanted u t study. i did too.
can dunc play com and chat so much, jus awhile?
is it so bad.. i'm really worried abt you and us.
wat more can i say. i jus keep repeating rmb t study.
u said u will. or u said hao derhs. lols. but.. sigh.
sad t hear u didn whenever u said u will. i'm sad..
u even promised t study for us norhs. wats affectin.
outside friends? or seeing ppl who alrdy not studyin?
wats important wats not. pls prioritise can marhs.
dunc play com so much pls pls. for once jus listen pls?
i only pls u narhs. its the only one thing i wanted.
nth else is more important than u and us can anot.
i dunc wana see us fall apart jus cos of this things.
i dunc lyke. dunc make empty promises. wat do u wan?
tell me exactly whether wat i'm doing is worth doing.
sometimes i think it does. sometimes i dunc think so.
i feel lyke i need t let u go. maybe things changed.
i feel lyke i'm pullin too tight and i needa loosen up.
u need space too. wat more can i do? jus study will do.
its enuf for me. i hope u will.. i worry all the time.
i cant slp now. so i woke up t blog. tonyte its hard.
its been hard talkin t you. sorrys dunc hlp anymore.
do it and i'll feel better. assure me pls. will you?
we talked over the fone on the train. u said u will nors.
now wat happened. i only get sorry. is tat all? wat more.
if one simple sorry can stop me from worryin.
it could stop all the problems in the world.
sorry is jus not cut out for me. not for you too.
the more we say it. the deeper the wounds in my heart.
the more u say it the sadder i get it leaves a mark.
an impression in my heart. tat ur givin it all up.
when all i wanted was for things t go smooth.
make it up t sec 5 and we could take it slow from there.
i've tot of wantin t be with u i really had.
but ur not givin me a chance t at least make it right.
i'm puttin things back on track, but the same thing happens.
always studys and my past. maybe i over did it.
if u would tell me i'd change and stop all of it.
my heart here is for u t torture and t love.
i felt it was all so right alrdy. but its been days.
u keep sayin u will, but ending up apologising. =/
if i had time i'd tell u how i feel abt everything.
everything and all the things i've said and did.
i hab my intentions. i laid the pathway. pls walk withme.
i hope i'm not alone. ur not on the ryte path.
take mine will you? dunc assure me for nth. it pains.
if all i could do was jus watch u fall.
i'd rather fall first and catch u at the end of ur fall.
hopin tat u'll rise up again. and bring me up too.
because ur the one tat made a difference in me.
changed me and made me. i feel happier. i feel ur love.
i love it. everything abt you. no matter wat u say.
wat happens in the end i'll always be there t hold you.
tightly always till the end. <3
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, July 16, 2006-)
+9:24:00 AM]*
9:24:00 AM
# -
Woke up around 8 plus. i couldn slp. last nyte drink wine till seh..
I guess i'm better now.. dunc worry yarhs. its a so peaceful now.
I dunc wana think and break this peace. anyway it isnt so bad.
Dunc blame urself neither. we've got much t do and concentrate.
It'll get better once everything is over. after exams barhs. lols.
I'm gona pia hard too. i dunc wana regret not doing it. so tired.
I noe if i dunc pia, everything we did and said would mean nth alrdy.
So u must also do it too yeahs. (= lols.. i've forgotton last nyte.
At least for now. its better than havin t think abt it all the time.
I promise i'll tell you everything derhs okay. i jus need some time.
i've been havin some trouble slping.. kept thinkin abt wat u said.
In the end i told myself after all tat we've done for each other,
Can we really not trust each other?? i still trust you. dunc scared.
Wats hab t be said i alrdy told u last nyte. the rest i'll tell u soon.
Wait till i get things clear okay. later got tuition at 2.30pm. tired.
Gona work hard. now i really understand no money cant survive at all.
All the while i tot no money nbm. i still can live. cos its not mine.
But now come t think of it. if its mine i wont even hab enuff at all.
So many ppl tried t talk t me, even my tuition teacher lols. glad.
But some still doesnt gets into my head. but i'm sure wat i wana do.
Dunc worry its for a good cause. alrite get back t yesterday..
Yesterday went t jurong point and watched re-cycle. darn nice and touchin!
lols. she cried in the cinema lols i felt the ghost was funny. hahaas.
They became 3d at the ending lols. den i laughed non-stop. hahas.
after tat we went t fareast and heeren. went fareast buy her hairband.
hope she lykes it barhs. hhahas. umms den went back cwp and she ate dinner.
Last n yte i didn had dinner, drank on an empty stomach lols. haish..
Reached her blk downstairs abt 8.11pm. slack and talk downstairs. imissus.
8.26pm i sent her home den i went home. i was moody. so msged her.
And there goes i told her everything. i only miss us all these while.
Everythings changed has it not?? =(
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, July 15, 2006-)
+10:17:00 AM]*
10:17:00 AM
# happy yet sad.-
Hhahs. yesterday was really fun. went swimming wit her. (=
First time i went swimming with a girl narhs. at first weird.
Alicia and siew lin sister was there too. lols. so noisy. lols.
But she was kinda cute though. (= lols. always suan geri. hhahs!
Later jiu get used norhs. i cant swim properly narhs. lol.
Swim until about 5 jiu left lerhs. after tat went atmiralty.
Saw graduate derh hafiz. den went t buy her white fungus. lols.
After tat i walked her home. chit chat and played whole day.
Physics test sure fail norhs. forgot everything larhs. darn it.
Quarreled with dad. lols. started this year only. feelin bad.
But nbm. she still made me feel better and understood stuffs.
Thanks for listening laopo. thanks for jus being there for me.
I'm happy at least i got u t cheer me up. i'll do likewise too.
during pe ytd we played soccer. hhahs. so fun norhs. i scored 7.
So long nvr play lerhs. we were lyke super united class larhs.
Lols. 4n1 always united! hahahs. lyke u said friendship soccer.
Going out t meet her at 12 pm. watching movie at boon lay. ((=
I'm gona go study now and den going t bath. and prepare t leave.
I'm happy tat i've got parents as well as you. glad t hab you.
yan.. i duno wat i'll do without you.. i need you so bad. <3
Maybe sometimes i jus wished i'm still stayin at 640. lols.
Den i can jus go see u anytime when i miss you so bad. hahas.
I love you so much. i trust you, i'll always do. rest assured.
I wont hab doubts anymore. not for now. let bygones be bygones.
Theres a better future t think of than the past. days hab been hectic.
I hope i can feel better soon. sorry t let you worry always.
But no matter wat u'll be the first one t know okays. (((=
I understand u meant well sayin those stuffs. i jus cant do it.
Let everything move on its own narhs. i'll make things ryte soon.
Ur the first person tat ever made me feel ryte again.
Thanks for bringin me out of this shell once again. hope ur happy too.
Hope u feel my love and all the things i'm doing for you is true.
Hope ur happiness lies with me. i hope t be ur last love.
<3<3<3
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, July 13, 2006-)
+5:34:00 PM]*
5:34:00 PM
# hahaha.-
Today morning duno why i still walked t her blk. lols
I knew she wouldn be going yet i still walk there.
Now i only take that route t sch. i duno any other route.
Lols. i'm used t it alrdy. lost whenever ur not around.
Today whole day i was slpy cos i didn slp well. =x
Its bored in sch too. missed her. one day seems so long.
Nbm. tml morning get t see her again. wana hug her lols.
Shes calling me tonyte too. will be waiting for her call. ((=
Thought abt wats gona happen t us nxt time. need lots of trust.
Dunc worry i'll give you lots of space. i love you baobeii.
Think abt many stuffs larhs. but told her i wont think.
As i promised u i didn think after i left ur block. so boring.
After sch went t buy bbt for her. went her house gib her.
Stood outside her gate and talked t her. chatted till 4.
I left after tat. feeling bored. lonely i guess. hhahs.
Well. its not too long a day least i get t see her. heehs.
I promise i'll study. she promised me too. i hope barhs.
Must study hard norhs dunc slack so much anymore.
Com okay lerhs, dunc stuck there den nvr study okays.
Rmb t study norhs. theres nth much i can do if u dunc..
I'm watchin as the day goes by. got demoralised tday. by kc.
He said my tuition useless also. cos i slp in class. nvr study.
Lols. i will larhs. and i hab norhs. den he say geri also same.
I was lyke nth t say. jus kept sayin she said she'll study.
She promised me. and we'll both study together. haish.
Kc made me think abt the future norhs. if now dunc study.
Nxt time how? we both how? still will be tgt anots.. worried.
Everything i'm doing now is worth it. its for you and me.
Its all good. i'm jus scared. feeling helpless sometimes.
I told u everything lerhs. now its only scared u wont study.
I hope u will norhs. tats the main thing. no prob lerhs.
The rest i've alrdy told u. i believe we've solved em. (=
I so need u. i really duno wat i'll do without u.
Maybe u wont see it. and havent seen me lookin down ovr u.
Feeling lost over u. even cry over you. hurhurs.
U havent seen all those. i nvr show them. i try t hide away.
But u still made me happy and feelin relieved after awhile.
If u jus walked away. what could i really say.
Would my words even matter anyway. would it change how u feel.
I'm the mess u chose. the closet u cannot close.
The devil in you i suppose.. cause ur wounds t never heal..
When its jus me and you. who noes wat we could do.
If we can jus make it through. the toughest part of the day.
We could Stay here tgt and we could conquer the world.
If we could say that forver is more than jus a word... <3
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, July 10, 2006-)
+7:07:00 PM]*
7:07:00 PM
# happy.-
Today was alil hectic. whole day was kinda tired and frust.
Didn felt too good. in heart and mind. lols.
I still pulled through. she made me felt better.
Thanks laopo. xp. always there when i need you.
U make me go crazy without seeing u for jus a day.
U make me need you all the time. hhhahs.
She bought me the necklace for our four months today.
Thanks alot! i love it. (= i'll get ur foundation soon.
This week we're meeting up t celebrate 4 months.
I promised her i would come out. i hope daddy lets.
Dunc worry, i'll persuade him until he lets me. heehs.
I'm loving u more and more with each passing day.
Makes me feel moody when ur unhappy or thinking.
I wished i could do something t cheer u up too. =/
For any reasons will do whenever u need me i'll be there.
I'll always stand by you and nvr leave ur side. Promised*
Iloveu sweetheart. this goes on and on and on..... neverending. <3
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Sunday, July 09, 2006-)
+11:14:00 AM]*
11:14:00 AM
# i'm happy i hope everythings fine.-
I hope things between us hasnt changed. last nyte was a lil madness again.
i'm sorry for causing all those misunderstandings when i can put them into
jus one sentence. i found it hard t say. beat around the bush and made it worst. =x
I'm sorry. sorry tat i keep apologising t you. if one day i could hab time alone
with you i would, pour my heart out and jus t let u noe exactly how i feel.
Let you noe my love is for real. Let u noe my worries. Let u noe my pain.
For everything i said and done. i hope i wont make u start t lose grasp.
I'll always be around with you. i'll be ryte by ur side whenever u need me.
Every conclusions i jumped t. it all made us quarrel. i'll change and noe reality.
What u said t me, i'll rmb everything. i cherish, i treasure. saying i love u.
I hope it wont turn out t be jus words without a meaning behind it. Thank you,
For understanding me. whenever my mind ran wild. but still i'll not let all tat
I did bring us down. i'll always get things back on track. i dunc wana hurt u,
No more. making u sadder each time. i feel lyke i'm always bringing u down.
When it was all so high up, i always bring us down so hard. i'm sorry.
I'll learn a past t be a past. nvr t talk abt it again, ever. i promise you.
I'll build up my confidence. i dunc wan u t change. because i really love u.
I care, alot most of the tymes. hope it isnt giving u stress. =x i hope its not
Too late. t still get things ryte. i always do this t you. no more. alrite. promise.
Ur stressed up too. i'll tell you everything tats left unsaid in my heart. someday..
When theres a chance. for us t be alone. at a place u imagined. tat u told me in.
In the bus, rmb? hhahs. building sandcastles. i'm happy t hab u around. i need u.
I'll always be sure tat u'll be aound. cos u said it all. (= i did reality check.
Yupps. i'm wrong t think this way. sorry. i'll always love u with no regrets. <3
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, July 08, 2006-)
+12:07:00 PM]*
12:07:00 PM
# i'm tired too.-
its been long since i last blogged. didn had the time. and was kinda lazy. i'm worried yarhs how can i not be. happy tat i cleared some doubts abt the past. well past is past. now i'm happy and glad. i still got yanyan with me. (= today i'll be stayin at home. studyin and maybe watch tv or play com barhs. tuition changed t tml noon. now i'm sitting here restless on the com for worrying too much. after tonite will be fine. i miss u darling. yesterday went with her t tampines t buy bread. lols. went t shop shop abit but bbt and drink coconut water. nice eh. remind me of me when i was in bangkok. always drinking it. lols. nice larhs. pure coconut water. i'm so worried for u dunc ask me not t stress can anot. aiyo. take good care of urself when i'm not around alrite. cos i'll be worried for ur safety 24/7 nonstop. tired of parents one ask too much. the other keeps showing temper over little little things. i feel so tense up being around them. wished u were here. always clearing my mind and cheer me up even in worst situations u always make me feel better. with u around theres nth i cant control except sometimes i lose my temper and threw them at u. i'm sorry. i'm learning t keep myself cool and control it. u taught me some. changed me alil. thanks. i've made up my mind on many things. and tot carefully on many things. many things were unexpected and it all started off so well. its not gona end. i hope. i love u. u made me view things in a diff way. u created a whole new part of me. a new chapter. a new beginning. a new meaning. <3
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, July 01, 2006-)
+10:35:00 AM]*
10:35:00 AM
# so long since i blogged.-
WAha. its been awhile since i blogged arhs.. was busy lately.. came home late every weekdays.
I want t accompany her i dunc wana go home so early too. exams coming also got study out.
I've cleared up every mess, well theres 1 more.. hhahs. hope it can be done as soon as possible.
Yesterday we talked like we were besties lols. its like bringing back sec 3 memories. hhahs.
Talked everything abt the past. felt happy sayin it out. we werent talking as steads.
I treat her both ways. so its kinda great. its so different t fall in love this way. not so tense too.
Well we're happy again. theres nothin more t think about. feeling better each day.
Hope i'll find myself like how i was in sec one again. I'm sure she'll be happier. hhahs. [:
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY` thanks for understanding me. <3
the story ends like this;
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