you typed: blog

(Saturday, June 30, 2007-)
+9:58:00 AM]*

KKIT<3YANN .
9:58:00 AM

# -

meaningless, some would say. i'm stupid, most would say. but she said........
i just want to kan kai. isolate myself. i'm just another ridiculous nonsense to her.(:

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(Sunday, June 24, 2007-)
+3:25:00 PM]*

KKIT<3YANN .
3:25:00 PM

# -

ytd went to celebrate her birthday. i messed it up. twice in a row.
everyones nagging wtf. got no right to even tell her to do stuff.
now i get it. everything is my fault. after she told me all the stuff
on msn. i can tell what she thinks of me. tats jus too bad for me.
haha. maybe i should change and become those hum ji boy.
who gets controlled by gf and do whatever she says. maybe she likes
that. cos i feel like if i'm like this hum ji den all this wouldn happen.
i'm gona give in all the way. if she reads this i guess she'll jus get all
angry. i feel so heartbroken. i'm all to blame all i needed was to
forget abt what i see. dun even bother the nxt time if can i'd jus
hey tell her what happened and i'll jus laugh and be cool and tell myself.
nth ever happened! its not on purpose. why should i even get
angry. damn i'm so stupid. I'M SORRY GERI.

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(Tuesday, June 19, 2007-)
+11:03:00 AM]*

KKIT<3YANN .
11:03:00 AM

# -

ytd geri came my house. went to fetch her in the morning lol.
so like.. she wanted to swim. and i brought her to chinese garden.
didn know it was closed for renovations. law. she was like abit angry.
hahahaha. den we went for breakfast at the coffee diam there. shes
so cute. haha. the food was not bad. the fried fish bee hoon totally
sucked. she was so tired and slpy by the time we ate finish. went home
directly. she came my house to slp and used com. her coms fixed now.
mum bought lunch. sort of. lol. and we ate. left my house at 315pm
for marsiling to get her sony ericsson walkman earpiece. lawl. nice bass.
after buying the sky was grey and was abt to rain. we went to yio chu
kang swimming complex as she wanted to swim still. swim awhile and
left the place. it was raining alrdy when we went out of the compound.
bought cup noodle called sl and talk to her. we went to civics and ate
lerk thai. sorry got your mum angry. didn bring u home early. so like we
ate one sticky rice mango. and one yum hoon sen. lawl. we took a bus back
home and in the bus she kept making fun of me. tickling me and put her
freezing cold hands on my neck. i hate that man. lawl. crap. she was hyper.
yeah and i'm happy. (: alright so after i sent her home i went to meet my cousin.
i took a train from atmiralty to cck and met him to my house. went to jurong
point to get some stuff and back home to have our dinner. after awhile he
went out to meet his girl friend. haha. so like i stayed at home and play game
wait for him come back. i slpt and 5 am. woo. waited for her to wake up.
yeah so like i msg her a goodnight msg which was kinda long. haha. yeah cos i
missed her. den i went to slp alrdy. and me and my cousin are talking now.
ok blog again some other time. lawl when she complains. XD

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(Sunday, June 03, 2007-)
+1:06:00 AM]*

KKIT<3YANN .
1:06:00 AM

# -

so. its a boring day. friday went out with laopo to orchard to meet her friend.
went wisma starbucks? or was it coffee bean.. ordered drinks and i sat down
reading a story book titled for one more day. i dun quite rmb the title but its
a nice book to read. yeah teaches alot of things in life. i guess theres more to
our relationship too. yeah preperations has to be made. many things gotta
take care of. so much to study. so much to think abt. so much to tell her.
so much to do for her. time is so short. days are getting shorter. holidays
seem like jus 24hours divided by one month. passes so quickly. i miss her.
i've hurt her. unknowingly i have. i didn take the initiative. i suck this time
not a good bf to her. i could tell the way she msges shes almost speechless.
i wanna change for her. i really wanna. yes parents alike i've shouted at them.
telling myself they suck and stuff. feeling so down i duno what to say to them.
she's different. she's my partner. my other happiness. my escape. i suppose.
my understanding. i didn share my sadness with her.. rather all i did was jus
caused more ppl to be sad.. more ppl i loved around me to be sad.. wat can i do.
i find no meaning to all this. jus lost. whats going on. if i could change for her.
of cos at home with my parents i'd change towards them too. my attitude.
my temper. i seriously suck. i'm trying so hard. it isnt easy. i couldn for 1 sec
put a sentence in my mind telling myself rmb dun shout dun get angry. how.
how am i able to do that. i'd think abt it tonight. before i slp. mums sad.
grandmas old. she doesnt wana care. but everyday at home. theres so much
quarrels. my dad is so sad. but why dun i feel for him. whats happenened to me.
i feel like an animal. i wasnt like this. when did i became like this. i knew.when.
i knew how. i've let myself turn into something else and thought i'd be ok.
yes i'm ok. but the ppl around me are not ok. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry... tats all
i can say for now.. i'll change for you for them. for those who cared and knew..
give me somemore time.. i promise.. i really promise. i need u geri. i need u to
be here. i need ur support. i noe u've suffered.. i noe u've cried.. many times u
did. at night. my heart is all that i can give u now.. my words are all i have to
assure u. my actions are inconsistent cos i couldn control it yet. i'll bear in mind..
what i tell u. pls rmb. i really mean it. dun be sad. trust me. i love you. my eyes
are tired. i'm so sleepy now.. i wished i could hug u.. tell u its gonna be ok..
baby. good night. rest well. i'd see u soon ok. be my pillar of strength. (:

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