(Sunday, June 03, 2007-)
+1:06:00 AM]*
+1:06:00 AM]*
1:06:00 AM
# -
so. its a boring day. friday went out with laopo to orchard to meet her friend.
went wisma starbucks? or was it coffee bean.. ordered drinks and i sat down
reading a story book titled for one more day. i dun quite rmb the title but its
a nice book to read. yeah teaches alot of things in life. i guess theres more to
our relationship too. yeah preperations has to be made. many things gotta
take care of. so much to study. so much to think abt. so much to tell her.
so much to do for her. time is so short. days are getting shorter. holidays
seem like jus 24hours divided by one month. passes so quickly. i miss her.
i've hurt her. unknowingly i have. i didn take the initiative. i suck this time
not a good bf to her. i could tell the way she msges shes almost speechless.
i wanna change for her. i really wanna. yes parents alike i've shouted at them.
telling myself they suck and stuff. feeling so down i duno what to say to them.
she's different. she's my partner. my other happiness. my escape. i suppose.
my understanding. i didn share my sadness with her.. rather all i did was jus
caused more ppl to be sad.. more ppl i loved around me to be sad.. wat can i do.
i find no meaning to all this. jus lost. whats going on. if i could change for her.
of cos at home with my parents i'd change towards them too. my attitude.
my temper. i seriously suck. i'm trying so hard. it isnt easy. i couldn for 1 sec
put a sentence in my mind telling myself rmb dun shout dun get angry. how.
how am i able to do that. i'd think abt it tonight. before i slp. mums sad.
grandmas old. she doesnt wana care. but everyday at home. theres so much
quarrels. my dad is so sad. but why dun i feel for him. whats happenened to me.
i feel like an animal. i wasnt like this. when did i became like this. i knew.when.
i knew how. i've let myself turn into something else and thought i'd be ok.
yes i'm ok. but the ppl around me are not ok. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry... tats all
i can say for now.. i'll change for you for them. for those who cared and knew..
give me somemore time.. i promise.. i really promise. i need u geri. i need u to
be here. i need ur support. i noe u've suffered.. i noe u've cried.. many times u
did. at night. my heart is all that i can give u now.. my words are all i have to
assure u. my actions are inconsistent cos i couldn control it yet. i'll bear in mind..
what i tell u. pls rmb. i really mean it. dun be sad. trust me. i love you. my eyes
are tired. i'm so sleepy now.. i wished i could hug u.. tell u its gonna be ok..
baby. good night. rest well. i'd see u soon ok. be my pillar of strength. (:
the story ends like this;
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